So my ex is coming to town and wants to hang out. I want to see him but what should I tell my current boyfriend, because I know he won't understand our friendship?
-Just Friendly
You should tell your boyfriend... NOTHING! If you tell him your ex is coming to town please be prepared to have to baby him and reassure him of your love over and over again. And if you can't get away with saying nothing then you have to lie. Tell him you're hanging out with friends and make sure any texts and pictures of that night can never be found by your boyfriend. Oh, you thought I was going to tell you that relationships should be based on honesty and communication? Sorry, no! Either you're not going to do anything wrong, so you're sparing your boyfriend's feelings and possible insecurities or you're going to cheat. Either way you need a good lie in place.
So listen, I am so sick of people saying they want the truth. Let's be honest...no you don't. You just don't want to find out you've been lied to. Ok, bear with me, because I know this sounds crazy and politically incorrect. But think about the last fight you've had over a lie. You're angry for two reasons. 1. Some person lied to you, most likely a significant other. 2. You found out they lied, probably because they were stupid and left some weird text message on their phone that they should have deleted. And here's a note to the liar: always cover your tracks. There is no reason your girlfriend should find out that you lied about not being able to go to her parent's anniversary dinner so that you could see your grandmother last Thursday, all because she found a text from Dexter that says "hell, yeah!!!! Boiiiiii! We kicked they asses at Ultimate Frisbeeeeeee!!!!" Why even save that text? And you were playing Ultimate Frisbee? I mean, really.
But, I digress. Back to you whiners that are all about "truth." Do you really want your boyfriend to say, "Honey, I don't want to go to your parent's house for dinner. Your family is awkward and I always get stuck sitting next to your mom and I know she rubs my leg on purpose. Honestly I'd rather play Ultimate Frisbee with Dex." Is that what you want to hear? IS IT??? Of course not. So he decided to spare your feelings and that was considerate of him. Besides we all know the truth hurts and lie are so much easier to swallow. If the outcome is going to be the same without all the tears and sad feelings, why not lie? And I'm not telling you to lie about BIG things. If your boyfriend finds a prescription for, let's say Valtrex, DO NOT lie and say it is your roommate's. Tell him the truth, you have genital herpes. Let's face it, there are some things you shouldn't lie about. STD's (especially those that are incurable), baby mamas and/ or children, U.S. citizenship, how big your dick is or basically anything you can't hide forever. The point is lying to end an argument or prevent one is fine. In fact it's a way of life. And if it makes you feel better don't think of it as lying, think of it as keeping the one you love happy with an emotional blow job. Trust me, it's true.
